Speedy

1935-2023

Two months ago yesterday, I had the honor of being at my father’s bedside as he passed away. His death was not unexpected–we knew the day was coming. 

 

Raul Gonzales in McAllen, TX, July 2021

My father Raul Gonzales, better known as “Speedy”, was surrounded by many love ones as he took his last breath. He had been on hospice for about 3 months. It was uncanny how close they were at predicting how much time we had left with him.

My sister Sandy, who lived nearby to him, called my older sister Teresa and I home in August when it was decided to bring hospice in. At the time, we spent as much quality time with him, discussed plans with hospice, while also beginning the unpleasant task of pre-arranging his funeral. Teresa and I returned to our respective homes a few days later and waited.

Less than 3 months later, it was clear he was declining further. He had dementia, which had been evident for a number of years, but it was the physicality of his situation that was slowing taking him away from us. He was forgetting how to swallow. Sandy called us to come home again on the recommendation of hospice if we wanted to have any additional quality time with him. I drove this time as I didn’t know how long I was going be away. I made sure to pack a dark suit. I drove from Denver heading to the St Louis metro area.  My sister Teresa flew into Kansas City from DFW so she could drive the final 4 hours with me. It gave us time to catch up. Once in back in Illinois, we worked on finding him 24 hour care for those last days. We sat with him and told stories and he would respond. By this time, he was getting so weak, it was hard to understand him. He always knew who we were when we were with him which was a blessing. I got to watch him say goodbye to my mom in his own way. It was a special moment for her.

Rather than declining further, he seemed to stabilize. I ended up staying 2 weeks, spending time with my dad each day. But I needed to head home. His birthday was just a week and a half away, and I already had a plane ticket to come spend that day with him. It made it easier to say good-bye. “I’ll see you in a couple of weeks”. I spent 2 days driving home. It gave me time to decompress.

I was only home 5 days when Sandy called and said it was time to come back.

I hopped in the car and headed back, bringing with me the hamper of dirty laundry I had just carted home a few days earlier. Teresa flew in from DFW again. 

He was with us another day and a half.  He had a lot of visitors wanting to see him and say goodbye. Many stories were retold around his bedside. Even in his weaken state, having been in bed now for over a week, a deliberate smile would form on his face when the story was especially funny. I told a story about when he gave me the “birds and bees” talk. I had said something really stupid as a 12yo boy during that uncomfortable conversation. It made him smile to hear me retell it.

Two hours before he passed, he opened his eyes one more time. He kept them open for an hour as JoAnn, his long time partner, spoke soothingly to him and reminded him of the wonderful times they spent together. The hospice nurse said she had never seen anything like that before. Afterwards, he closed his eyes a final time and the nurse told us to gather around him and touch him. There were so many of us–I can’t begin to remember who all was there. We all stood around him silently as he slowly and gracefully slipped away.

Being a family history buff, I wanted to be involved in writing his obituary.  My sisters gave their input as well. I wanted it to honor my father’s life, but also stand the test of time. It had to navigate interesting family dynamics while also being true to my father’s story. His obituary can be found here.

I gave his eulogy at his memorial service. I had been working it out in my head for weeks. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it was going to be. He was then buried with military honors at Jefferson Barracks in St. Louis Missouri four days before his 88th birthday. It is an amazing cemetery. One that I will enjoy visiting many times in the years to come. I know that is a weird thing to say, but I am proud that it is my dad's final resting place.

Jefferson Barracks, St. Louis, MO, 27 Nov 2023
Photo Credit: Melanie Malone used with permission

Later that evening we celebrated his life with Mexican food and a Mariachi band. It was one of his requests. My sisters and I wore cowboy hats to honor his Texas heritage. We danced and drank many margaritas. It was a perfect way to end a difficult day surrounded by family and close friends.

My father never knew his father. My grandfather died a few months before my dad was born. And he never had a good picture of him. I hope he is getting to know him now. My second blog post discusses how finding my grandfather’s death certificate online kicked off my interest in my family history. Back then, I made it one of my goals to find a distant family member that may have a picture of my grandfather.

By the looks of my blog history, my last post was June 12, 2017.  Just 3 months after that post, someone reached out to me asking how she and I might be related. She said she had some old family photos...

My dad's passing has inspired me to blog again about my findings. That "reach out" sounds like an excellent topic to write about next. 

What was happening in 1929?

Where is Grandma from? -part two.

In an earlier blog post you can read here, I went through all the different documents stating where my grandmother, Raquel Farias was born.  I had collected various records some stating Mexico, others Texas.  I thought maybe the evidence submitted with her delayed certificate of birth with the State of Texas had settled it…somewhat.

Queue Ancestry.com releasing the indexed Civil Registrations for Mexico, and it added a whole new element to my quest.

With the knowledge my grandmother had been born in 1912, I had previously searched the Matamoros registrations for multiple years before and after 1912 trying to find a record of her birth.  I had never thought to look as far as 1929!!

The newly indexed records first led me by way of a hint to my great tia Lilia Farias’  birth registration. I followed the link to the image and was excited to find her entry.  I wondered aloud why it was recorded in 1929.  Quite a delay when you consider she was born in 1916.  But as the genealogy rulebook states, look at the records/pages before and after the one that interests you.  And sure enough, there as my grandmother’s entry along with her brother’s and her 4 of her sisters.1

"México, Tamaulipas, Registro Civil, 1800-2002," nacimientos, Matamoros, Tamaulipas, 1929;
on this page, delayed birth registration for Federico, Raquel, Lilia and Rosa Farias.
Celia on prior page, Ester on following page.

Celia Farias-age 25

Federico Farias-age 23

Maria Raquel Farias-age 16

Lilia Farias-age 14

Rosa Farias-age 11

Ester Farias-age 8

What made my great grandmother, Josefa Longoria de Farias, now a widow, seemingly cross the border back into Mexico and register her children in Matamoros?

With this find, I was reminded that I had previously found other peripheral family members who had a delay registration in 1929 and had made mental note of the delay.

It was a gem of a find, in which my g-grandmother states my grandmother Raquel was born on Rancho el Capote, outside Matamoros, on 12 September 1912.   As excited as I was to find this record, you have to question the veracity of the statement.2  Why record this now?  Why your adult and teenage children; some who are already married and living in Texas? 

What was happening in Mexico in 1929?  Two records before the sibling; the person was 52 years old.  The next 3 records after this group were 36, 42 and 46 years old respectively. 

This is one of the many times I wish I knew Spanish.  There is much research to do, and this just makes it more difficult.

  

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1 FamilySearch.org-delayed registration of birth for siblings Celia, Federico, Raquel, Lilia, Rosa, and Ester

2 Besides, we had always celebrated my grandmother’s birthday on September 9^th, so which date is correct?

Finding Harry (part V)

A Final Note from the Infirmary

This day, 101 years ago, there was likely a late knock at the door.  Lydia (Boreham) Chinery had perhaps gotten her 4 boys ages 3, 5 and 7 years old, plus a 9 month old to bed.   Her husband probably was not at home as evidence states he reported for duty during WWI the prior month. 

It would have been a Friday night, and she may have plans to go see her stepson Harry at the Ipswich Infirmary the next day as he mentioned in his letter.  He wrote a letter just two days ago.  Had she received it the following day, or had it just arrived today?  

The knock at the door is a messenger from the Ipswich Union Workhouse and he gave Lydia a note. [1]

Notice of Death for Harry Chinery from the Ipswich Union Workhouse 21 May 1915 
privately held by Raul Gonzales Jr, Colorado

The note states that Harry died “suddenly”.  We know from his death certificate the primary cause was TB, the secondary cause was “Haemoptysis”-coughing up blood. [2]

I am sure Lydia had to be shocked.  In his letter written just 2 days ago he stated he was “not any worse but a little better.”  She was supposed to go see him tomorrow.

It had to be overwhelming to receive news of a death this way.  Little Harry died without any family present.  It probably wasn’t that uncommon when you were if the infirmary at the Workhouse with TB.  They had a form letter for such an event.

We know from other mementos Lydia kept stashed, that Harry was buried at Ipswich Cemetery on 24 May 1915.   She kept the burial card.  Before coming into possession of the burial card, I had previously written to the Ipswich Cemetery. They have a service in which they will provide you with a map of where your family is buried.  If you give them 48 hours notice, they will go out and place flags for you to easily find the grave sites.  Both pairs of my maternal great grandparents are buried in this cemetery as well as one of Harry’s brothers.  My maternal grandparents ashes are also scattered in this cemetery.  Based off of the map I was sent and Harry’s burial card, I know he is not too far from his parents.  When I get back to England someday, I will be sure Harry's grave will have a flag too.

Today I added his burial place to Find A Grave.

We go searching for the dead when we become caught up in the hobby we love called Genealogy.  We expect to find death.  Most of the time it excites us to find the record associated with a death.  But, I have to say; it is especially hard when you find out the person died as young mother, a young man at war, or still just a child.   

From Harry’s writings I feel like I know him a little bit better than a lot of the other people in my tree. I am glad I got to know Harry.

  

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[1] “Notice of Death” for Harry Chinery, laminated note, privately held by Raul Gonzales, Jr. Centennial, CO.

[2]  England, General Register, Death Registrations, death certificate, (certified copy) for Harry Chinery, death 21 May 1915.

Finding Harry (part IV)

Here is the only picture of I know that exists of Harry Chinery.  It is unknown what year this picture was taken.  Given he was 11 when he was writing his letters, I can’t imagine this picture is far off.

Harry Augustus Chinery
c 1915

Harry writes his letters to “Dear Mother”.  Mother was Lydia Matilda (Boreham) Chinery, the 2^nd wife of his father William Henry Chinery. 

Harry was born on the 7^th of December 1903 in Walthamstow, Essex. [1] According to “Google Maps” the house still stands.  It appears someone has made it into multiple units and put a garage in what may have been a living room. (If anyone knows how to get a snip from Google Maps, I appreciate the lesson)  A stone plaque on the house calls this row of homes “Ebenezer Villas” with a date of 1880. 

According to British Law, his parents had 6 weeks to register his birth.   His father registered his birth on 11 January 1904.  

Little Harry was the 5^th child born to William Henry Chinery and his 1^st wife.  Harry’s mother, Ellen Augusta Belsham was born in 1871.   Records indicate she was from Bury St. Edmunds. 

In-between Harry’s birth and registration, Harry’s mother Ellen died.  She passed away 14 days after his birth, just 4 days before Christmas. [2]

One of the details I have left out regarding Harry is his middle name.  This Chinery line seemed very tied to middle names, thank goodness, as it has helped me sort them out in records.  Middle names were not entirely common in late 19^th century, but all of Harry Sr.’s siblings had them. 

I find it fitting, that days after the death of his wife, William Henry Chinery registered the birth name of his son as Harry Augustus Chinery.  

Harry carried the legacy of his mother’s middle name in his own.  And, I know from other documents such as quotes from flowers sent to funerals Henry, Harry’s father, went by "Harry" himself. 

Harry Sr’s second wife, Lydia, is actually my great grandmother.  Little Harry was my grandfather’s big brother.   I am not certain when my great grandparents met, but they all showed up in the 1911 census together.[3] At the time my grandfather had already been born, but his parents did not marry for couple more years.   Lydia was named as the “Housekeeper”.

It haunts me a bit, that Harry stated in his first letter to his mother “I know you like me.”  She would have been the only mother he knew.  I hope for his sake he knew is heart she loved him and she treated him as her own.

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[1] England, General Register, Birth Registrations, birth certificate, (certified copy) for Harry Augustus Chinery, born 7 Dec 1903; registered 11 Jan 1904, West Ham District 04a, [p 435, Walthamstow Sub-district, County Essex; General Registry Office, Southport, England.

[2] England, General Register, Death Registrations, death certificate, (certified copy) for Ellen Augusta [Belsham] Chinery, death 21 Dec 1903; registered 28 Dec 1903, West Ham District, v 04a p 186, North Leyton Sub-district, County Essex;, General Register Office, Southport, England.

[3] 1911 England Census, Ancestry.com, referencing household of W. H. Chinery, Kirby le Soken, Tendring district,  Essex; citing Census returns of England and Wales 1911.

Finding Harry (Part III)

A second letter from the Infirmary

In previous blog posts (Finding Harry) I discussed following the trail that Harry Augustus Chinery left for us. 

101 years ago today, little Harry Chinery wrote another letter to his mother from the infirmary.[1]  It is a relatively short yet eloquent note updating her that he hasn’t gotten “any worse but a little better.”  Up to this point there has been no indication as to what exactly has made Harry ill.

I find his letters to sound as if someone older than an 11-year-old has written them.  It is sad to think at this time, a child of 11, is in the hospital and going days to perhaps a weeks without seeing family.

Letter from Harry Chinery to Lydia Chinery,
19 May 1915, p1 of 3

May 19th 1915

The Balcony

Union Infirmary

Ipswich

Dear Mother

Just a few lines to let you know I am not any worse but a little better.  I had a letter from Gladys she wrote it last Friday and I did not get it till Monday dinner time.  I shant expect a letter from Aunt May now as she has another babe and I Expect she got a shock from the Explosion  you will see about it in (her) letter.  I dont wish you [?or] Gladys bring me any more biscuits nor any more shortcake  thanks but would like you to bring a few plain buns instead  Also Mr Titmun wants a day pipe if you please  i expect you know who I mean  I am getting on fine with the book you brought me.  Dear Mother I remember something you promised you would bring and show me that was Dadas ship on a pos[t]card but you have so much to think about that you can’t think about that you can’t think of everything.  Hope Ethel is better or a little better.  last Saturday mother a man came on the ward and said their was not any visiting going to be al[l]owed and we all thought was right but it was a only a joke.  The ward is rather full up now we have another bed on and another man  I dont think I have any more to say this time  Hoping I shall see you next Saturday if you can  anyhow spare time much love from Sonie xxxxxx

He again leaves clues to current events that I still need to research.   I especially would love to know what ship was “Dadas”.    I have clues that his father, my great grandfather William Henry Chinery, had just left for military service not even a month before this letter was written.   In the collection for British Army WWI Medal Rolls Index Cards, it records his medals and states his “date of entry” was 24 Apr 1915.[2]   It was his letter that helped lead me to search for WWI records for my great grandfather.   Otherwise, I had not any clues that he had served.   He would have been in his mid-40’s by the time the war broke out.  I now know he served in Egypt during this time. 

Harry also mentions an explosion that “Aunt May” experiences.  I suspect it may be in relation to the Bury Bombing (blog post "Finding Harry (Part II)").  A search of the birth location of Aunt May’s children during this time should provide context.

Harry may have been just 11 years old, but I still have more to share in future posts.

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[1] Norman, Ethel May (Flack). Private Collection. 1952 – 1997, “Sonie” [Harry Augustus Chinery] to “Dear Mother” [Lydia Matilda (Boreham) (Flack) Chinery], Letter, 19 May 1915.

[2] British Army WWI Medal Rolls Index Cards, 1914-1920, (online database).  Ancestry.com, referencing W. H. Chinery; citing Army Medal Office, WWI Medal Index Cards, In the care of The Western Front Association Website.

Finding Harry (Part II)

The Raid on Bury St. Edmunds

In my previous blog post “Finding Harry”  Harry in a letter written a letter to his mother, he mentioned he had heard from “Gladys “ and she “did not seem very frightened by the raid.”  From the first time I read his letter, I had wondered about the story behind this comment.

The letter was written in 1915, during the Great War (World War I).  I never heard much about bombing raids during that war, but certainly had heard about them during WW2 from my British grandparents.

I mentioned in a previous blog post that I had come across a new source to comb for genealogy related stories.  You will find that blog post here.  “British Newspaper Archive”

I had been waiting for BNA to start adding pages for The Free Bury Press from the 1930’s as I thought I would find my 2x’s great grandfather John Chinery’s obituary someday.  I finally came across a rather extensive obit for him just last week.[1]  In the obit, it mentioned he was standing on his front step when the Anchor Inn was bombed, and it blew him off of his feet.  Intrigued, and remembering Harry’s letter, I starting trying different search terms such as “Bury”, “bomb”, and “raid”. 

Sure enough I got a hit for 8 May 1915 with the paper devoting several pages of stories to the bombing of Bury St. Edmunds by a German piloted ZEPPELIN!!  This had happened 9 days prior.  This would be perfect timing for Harry’s letter.   One article was titled “Narrow Escapes in Northgate Street”[2]

"Narrow Escape in Northgate Street"
Bury Free Press, 8 May 1915

This particular article stood out as I know that my 2x’s great grandfather lived on Northgate Street.  And this article starts off by discussing the bomb that fell on the Anchor Inn.   The same inn mentioned in his obituary. 

Back to Gladys in Harry’s letter; she is his older sister, who I happened to remember meeting on at least one occasion in the 1980’s.  In the 1931 obituary, it states that John Chinery had been taken care of by Miss Gladys Chinery since his wife’s death.  Though I don’t have definitive proof that Gladys was on Northgate Street that night, I do have evidence in census records that various grandchildren, at various times, were enumerated living on Northgate Street with their grandparents John and Rose Ann (Hunt) Chinery.  

If I had not been given Harry’s letter, I may not have thought to research how German bombs falling from Zeppelins would have directly affected my ancestors lives.   I wish now I would have known of the letter when I met Gladys.  The questions I would have asked her!

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[1] "The Late Mr. J Chinery." The Bury Free Press [Bury St. Edmunds] 13 Feb. 1937, No 8752 p3 col 1. British Newspaper Archives. Web. 02 May 2016.referencing death and funeral of John Chinery.

[2] "Narrow Escapes in Northgate Street." The Free Bury Press [Bury St. Edmunds] 8 May 1915, No. 3036, p 6 col 2. British Newspapers Online. Web. 02 May 2016, referencing 29 April 1915 bombing raid on Bury St. Edmunds.

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